Who is disabled? 

I started off writing this blog, “coming to terms with a disabled son” or “the impact of having a disabled son” we’re titles that I thought were suitable. I was fresh out of a meeting about Disability living allowance and feeling very melancholy about how ‘disabled’ Reed is and the injustice that we haven’t received support, help or guidance about how to care for our highly disabled son. I know Reed has been poorly for quite some time now, but this the first time I had heard of him being described as disabled. Therefore he must be disabled, right?

So once I stopped being a prat and feeling sorry about myself I got to thinking…… “Who is really disabled?” Cause it sure isn’t Reed! Yeah he has seizures and he is going to be having surgery (when they get round to it) but check him out: 


Epilepsy is a bastard and wipes him out for hours at a time, but he gets up, finds his dummy, Gigi, taggy and he is off. Often a bit like a fast forward video or a mime artist. Annabelle and Reed were playing chase the other day giggling, He explores (extensively) every environment that he enters, he has started to turn pages of books and loves sensory toys and the allotment. He will give anyone a cuddle and regularly steals biscuits from the other mummies at play group! He has no problem demonstrating his needs and everyone will hear about it!  He has no cares in the world and as long as we make sure he can sleep when he fancies it, eat when and what he likes and can climb onto a box and stamp around then he is as happy as a pig in mud! 

Disabled seems like such a negative word and negative and Reedy do not belong in the same sentence. Reeds condition has been catestrophic to us NOT Reed, So I got to thinking if a label of disabled need to be applied then it is to us not him. 



2 thoughts on “Who is disabled? 

  1. Gill Tippins

    Yes disabled is a negative word but keep it in context like blond or brunette, fat or thin, it just says something about an individual. So think of all the positive stuff and try not to dwell on negative.

    Something to make you smile. In my late teens I worked in a showroom and one of our clients was from a disabled swimming club, he came into office to buy goods and I was aware of him watching me. Eventually he asked if I could swim breast stroke, I answered yes and he asked if I would swim for their team. I was totally at a loss why an earth he was asking this. Rather embarrased he said he had noticed I walked with a limp, my retort was yes but I am not disabled. My office supervisor came to defuse this awkward situation and explained that I had polio as a baby and was short and weak on one side. Despite this careful explanation I was most indignant and stressed that I was not disabled.
    In my teens I was turned down for jobs due to disability, but ended my employed years in a managerial position and now run my own small business. I ran a marathon and got a blackbelt at karate, your as normal or disabled as you allow yourself to be. Obviously there are things out of Reeds control but put them aside and focus on things he can do not what he cannot do and he will be a champion

    xxxxx to you all


  2. Cindy Cull

    You are right – HE is not disabled – his condition is. Yes he has special needs, to make sure he is safe whilst progressing & learning as other boys his age safe. Protected and loved, as he is. His illness is normal to him, it is part of him & the time he has where he is totally normal he fits everything else in, However, he can be disabled when you need financial support & a car parking permit [ envy ]…He is a fab boy with an illness. Who will bring you anxiety and joj. Thank God he has a professional care giver as a mum.x Respect to you all



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