Mummy keeps panicking!

When I started this blog I pledged that I would work hard to tell all sides of having a poorly little one and I am not going to stop now! 
I know that this might sound a bit strange but I have really struggled to come to terms with Reedy recovering and our world seems to have gotten so much smaller; people, places and perception.

It’s been nearly 4 months since Reedy underwent extensive brain surgery and we had some very supportive friends. 4 months on and our world has gotten smaller as Reedy has got better my mental health has suffered and I have been suffering from panic attacks and increased anxiety, meaning that I struggled to attend things, cancel at the last minute, find situations overwhelming, left a hotel at midnight due to separation worries and catastrophic thoughts, returned from Christmas celebrations early, cannot plan a holiday and even missed a very important birthday party. So it has been a sad few months.

Let’s be clear this is not because I don’t want Reedy to get better, because that is all I ever want. I think it’s because of the trauma, severity of our families problems and the now perception of a flippant attitude towards what we have experienced. The future is still both unpredictable and uncertain. What I do know for certain that when you are at your lowest you really do find out who you can rely on, how amazing medical services can be and the more you talk about these things thoughts and feelings the less control they have over your life. If I can be half as courageous as he has been then I can overcome anything. So wish me luck. 

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